Gender Help For Parents

Catherine’s Story

When my daughter was growing up it never crossed my mind that she had any issues with her gender. I have no stories to share about her insisting she was a boy, no stories of my struggles to persuade her to wear girls clothing, no stories of how she was a tomboy or played on the boys soccer team. I have nothing like that to share. My stories are of a beautiful and creative little girl who loved her princess dolls, her My Little Ponies, her coloured hair clips, bows and fairy wings and the silver glitter star she made into a magic wand.

It was never on my radar that my daughter could be transgender nor that one day when she was in her early 20’s our lives would be turned completely upside down. I cannot remember clearly how my daughter told me he was a boy, or whether he used the word transgender. The panic that I felt at that moment thinking there must be something terribly wrong with my child has wiped some of my memories of that day. But I will never forget the anguish I saw in my sons face. I knew whatever he was struggling with, it was massive.

I didn’t know what I should do and I turned to a diagnostic manual which at that time was the DSM IV. I looked up gender and I came away worried that my son could be suffering a disorder and be mentally ill. I saw a psychologist specialising in gender issues and I told her about my son and how he behaved and dressed like a girl. But I also told her about the distress my son felt during puberty, his anxiety and discomfort with his female anatomy and of his breast binding. …

Lisa’s Story

My name is Lisa, I have two children, the youngest being a 19 year old transman.

I had suspected my child was transgender from an early age, the signs were small but enough to concern me. I became more concerned as my child approached puberty, I had the talk, “You know your body is going to change, are you ok with that?”. I even taped an Oprah show on trans kids and showed my child to see if that sparked any conversation, but no, it didn’t. Puberty was early, around 11 years of age and awkward. By the age of 14, my child came out as lesbian. I remember that conversation well because of my stupid response, “Oh thank goodness. I thought you were going to ask for a penis”. I was thinking being lesbian is easier than being transgender.

1 year later, that stupid statement came back to bite me when my child told me that the issue was indeed gender. Even though I had suspected it for years, I still went into panic, he was about to start year 10 and I felt that transition would be easier after school, if I could just hold him off it would be safer. Not much was said and I sort of just sat on it for about 6 months. I ended up with a very unhappy child. He did all the research online as to what to do and where to go, came to us with the information, and so the journey began.

I was so weighed down by fear in the beginning, it was hard to function. My husband seemed to have a better grip on it than me but his mind didn’t think as much about the negative things that occupied mine, “will my child be

Information regards changes to documentation

Medicare (and also Centrelink) – change of personal details (incl. gender) policy:
https://www.humanservices.gov.au/customer/enablers/updating-your-personal-details-medicare-card
Key points:
You need to go into your local medicare/centrelink office in person with the documents required by them (a letter from a qualified doctor or psychologist, or alternative documentation).
The person in the office will forward them to the relevant department for actioning.
The person in the office may be unaware of the policy of medicare/centrelink – it may be worth printing out the policy and taking it in to the office with you. If you encounter difficulties you can call the Dept of Human Services Complaints line on 1800 132 468.
The policy states that:
To notify us of a change of gender you need to provide one of the following documents:

a statement from a registered medical practitioner or psychologist

a valid Australian Government travel document, such as a passport, that specifies your gender

an amended state or territory birth certificate that specifies your gender

a state or territory Gender Recognition Certificate or Recognised Details Certificate showin a state or territory Registrar of Births, Deaths and Marriages has accepted your change in gender’

What is gender dysphoria?

Diagnosis of gender dysphoria is governed by the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5).

To receive a diagnosis, a person must express a strong and persistent cross-gender identification for more than six months, a persistent discomfort with his or her sex or sense of inappropriateness in the gender role of that sex, and the experience must cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Medical treatment for gender dysphoria is regulated by international consensus guidelines published by the Endocrine Society of the United States and endorsed in Australia by the Australasian Paediatric Endocrine Group.

Treatment is also informed by the clinical guidelines contained within the Standards of Care for the Health of Transsexual, Transgender, and Gender Nonconforming People, produced by the World Professional Association for Transgender Health and drawing on the best available science and expert professional consensus.

The WPATH Standards were adopted by the Australian and New Zealand Professional Association for Transgender Health and guide clinical practice in …